This movie singlehandedly ruined teddy bears for everyone.
Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's get on with this, shall we?
And welcome back to Threequel month! As you know, I'll be spending the month of September talking about Threequels... Some good, some bad, some ugly, all will be crammed into this month. I recently did a review on Terminator 3 which you can view here. Now that I've managed to bang my head against the wall enough to forget about that piece of thrash, I'm now going to talk about a threequel that managed to NOT shit on everything you loved about the first two movies... And if you haven't read the title yet, I'm of course talking about the third installment of what is undeniably the greatest animated trilogy of all time: Toy Story 3!
It had been 11 years since the legendary team of Disney and Pixar visited the Toy Story universe. The likes of Woody, Buzz, Mr. Potato Head, Rex had all fallen calmly into the memory bank of children from the 90s. During this decade-and-change-long time frame, the team gave us some classic gems like Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Ratatouille, and Up. Many, including myself, were wondering why Toy Story 3 was taking so long to get done. Looking back on it, I feel as if Disney and Pixar spent a decade honing and perfecting their craft for this movie, because third installments tend to miss the mark, so these guys knew they had to get it right!
And what was the result? Well, Toy Story 3 doesn't live up to the first two... IT BLOWS THE FIRST 2 OUT OF THE WATER!
This is how it's done, folks. Seriously, the people who worked on Spider-Man 3 and X Men The Last Stand should've waited a few years and taken notes from this movie! Disney and Pixar got it right, and managed to not only make a great Toy Story movie, but completely outdo themselves in the process! So what do I love so much about this movie, you ask? Well, let me tell you...
The direction this movie decided to go in with its story was perfect. Andy is now a young man on his way to college, and has outgrown his many childhood play things. The toys themselves, of course, are depressed as hell, living in a dark toy box and no one wants to play with them anymore, not even Andy's sister. While Woody insists that he and the rest of the plastics should stay committed to Andy, everyone else becomes cynical and start to think that they should move on. There's even a real heart wrenching moment early on where Andy's mom asks if Andy wants to donate those toys and Andy responds with "No one wants those old toys, they're junk!" Woody still stays loyal to Andy after this. But unfortunately, everyone else, including Buzz, want to go to other kids... Well, they get their wish... and it bit them right in the ass. Thanks to a domino effect of bad luck, the plastics end up at Sunnyside, a daycare center where the toys are managed by Lotso, a big pink plush teddy bear.
...And that brings me to the next thing I love, or should I say "love to hate" about this movie: Lots-o'- Huggin' Bear. He's cute, fluffy, soft spoken, and happens to be the big cheese of the Sunnyside toy community. When we are first introduced to him, he's shown as a kind, gentle, loving leader of this group, taking Woody, Buzz and the gang for a look around the daycare center, kindly giving them a new home and giving these newbies a newfound hope for their futures. However, the more time Lotso has on screen, the more we grow to hate him, and the same goes for Andy's toys as well. He sticks the newly arrived toys in the room for the kids aged 2 and under without their knowledge, he then pretends to kill Woody instead of allowing it to be known that he escaped, he resets Buzz when Buzz gets suspicious, and... well, he just becomes an all out jerk. He's a power hungry tyrant who will do anything and step over anyone to get what he wants, and what he wants is himself in charge, and everyone around him fearing him.
Now you do get to know why he is the way he is. Back in his early days, he was the cuddly teddy bear of a little girl named Daisy. After being out in the park with him one night, she fell asleep and her parents took her back home sans Lotso. He was obviously heartbroken, but he wasn't going to let it faze him. He, and his toy pals Big Baby and Chuckles, made the long hard trek back to Daisy's house...
....Aaaaaaaannnnnnnd he was replaced by another Lotso... Ouch.
The feelings of torment and betrayal caused him to snap, and that made him the bear that you see in this movie!
That is one of the many things this movie did right: Instead of just giving us a one-dimensional villain, it dives into what makes him tick. It adds tons of depth and because of that, we as an audience get a better understanding of his character, and we may or may not begin to sympathize with him...
Did I sympathize with Lotso? Nope, not at all. I don't care what he went through, the shit that he does in this movie is flat out despicable... especially towards the end! After failing to prevent the plastics from escaping Sunnyside, Lotso pulls Woody into a dumpster with him, which makes the rest of the toys go diving in right after him. They're eventually taken to the dump, where they're all unceremoniously dropped onto a conveyor belt that leads to an incinerator. Lotso decides to forget his differences and teams up with the plastics to escape their doom. Eventually, Woody and Buzz help push Lotso up a ladder that leads to the button that can shut down the belt. Of course, at this point, you would THINK that Lotso might redeem himself by hitting the button and saving the day... Nope. Instead he just gloats at Woody and runs off... LOTSO! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!
Seriously, here's your one chance to do good and achieve redemption, and you leave those toys to melt? Go to hell, dick!
That all being said though. Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear is, in my opinion, the best antagonist in this series' history... and that's saying a lot considering how much of an ass Sid was. Overall, he's one of my favourite Disney villains of all time, right up there with Scar, and the aforementioned Sid. The fact that he was a soft, pink, cuddly teddy bear that smelled like strawberries gave a great juxtaposition to the character. Because in reality, he is a bitter, tyrannical, sniffling, cowardly dick head who is completely void of any redeemable qualities. And that's why he's such an awesome villain, because you hate him so fucking much!
Okay, enough about that character, how about the rest of them?
Woody, Buzz, Jesse, Bullseye, Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head, Sarge and Rex all come back for another adventure in this movie, and they're all as lovable as ever. This gang goes through hell and back in this movie, constantly ripping the hearts out of its audience along the way.
The one who goes through the most crap is Woody. He has to deal with the fact that Andy is all grown up and has outgrown him, yet he still holds on to that lingering hope that Andy just might see him and remember the good ole days... Unfortunately that doesn't happen until the very end, and I'll get to that later. We see him find a new home with new toys, we see him longing for the past, and we see him fight until the bitter end to save his friends. He's the one I felt the worst for when the gang was seemingly doomed by the incinerator. All that investment into his character, all the stuff he went through in all 3 movies, and the loyalty he has to his owner, has only lead him to a fiery melting pot of a grave... Of course, that is until... THE CLAWWWWWWW!!!!!!
Buzz Lightyear is just as cool as he's ever been. He goes through his fair share of crap in this movie too. Such as getting reset to demo mode, losing his owner alongside Woody, and of course, nearly getting burnt to death. The funniest part of the whole movie was at his character's expense when an accident switched him a Spanish mode. I can't really describe what he does, but fuck is it ever a huge laugh!
What else is there to talk about? Well, the ending.
There are hints throughout the entire movie that we are saying goodbye to these characters, and it is quite a tearful goodbye. When I saw this for the first time I thought the movie was going to end with them being melted by the incinerator, and when the gang held hands together as they were being descended into the molten garbage, the man-tears started to come out, badly. Of course, I forgot about the aliens and their obsession with the claw. Fuck... just thinking about that scene right now, the way Woody and Buzz just nodded at each other as they grabbed hands... fuck I'm choking up right now just thinking about it. Did I mention how heart-wrenching this movie can get? Never is it more tear-inducing than in that incinerator scene!
Now I'll get to the real ending. A lot of people shed a lot of tears to this moment, and I'm one of them. But in all honesty, it was tears of joy. We see Andy finally accept that he's all grown up and ready to move on, and we see that in Woody too. The most poignant part for me was when Andy looked at the toys before leaving and said "Thanks guys." That just tells me that Andy's childhood wasn't the greatest (not having a father and all) and that those toys were his escape. It's a very heartfelt moment. How many times did you witness something bad as a child and just relegated back to your room to play with your toys? Think about it.
Like I said, the tears I shed at the ending were tears of joy. Joy because Andy and the toys were able to have a proper goodbye, joy because the gang will be in great hands with Bonnie, and joy because one of the greatest movie franchises of all time couldn't have left on a higher note!
Now, did I have any problems with this movie? Well, only one in particular:
I thought Lotso's comeuppance wasn't good enough. After leaving the gang to melt, he tries to find his way out of the dump, but a garbage truck pulls up near him, causing him to go limp. Sid ends up grabbing him and taping him to the front of the truck where he will be catching flies until the day he wears out... THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!
I'm sorry, but he deserved worse. If I had it my way, he would've been dragged to the nearest build-a-bear workshop, had the giant metal tube shoved up his ass, and he would've been pumped with fluffy cotton until he exploded into a million pieces! That would've been the way to go, but... Well, it's a family movie, so, hood ornament it is...
All in all, this movie is a masterpiece! I loved it from beginning to end, even when it tore my heart out at some points. The characters are great, the story is great, the animation is brilliant, and it gives an amazing conclusion to what is one of the greatest trilogies of all time.
This movie is 100 snakes out of 100 boots. One of my favourites.
Of course, use the comments section to call me a pussy for crying.
- Mad Mike of Metal
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