Mad Reviews: The Terminator

 

Welcome back to Mad Reviews! In light of Terminator Genisys coming out next Friday (which I'm sure is going to be just a doozy), I've decided to dedicate my next batch of reviews to the Terminator saga. I've already written a review for Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, so I will be taking a look at the other 3 movies in this series, and conclude this chapter of Mad Reviews with a review on Terminator Genisys. In case you can't tell, I'm not really looking forward to the latest installment of the franchise... But now is not the time to be negative. I'm going to be travelling back to 1984, when James Cameron created one of the most brilliant films made: The Terminator. Here we go!

 

Alright, so in middle of directing the doomed-from-the-start Piranha II, James Cameron ended up having a nightmare about being hunted down by a big metal robot with red eyes. This nightmare planted the seed for this movie. Within 2 years, a script was written, the production was green-lit, and a then unknown Arnold Schwarzenegger was cast in role of the villainous Terminator. 

The premise: In 2029, the human resistance has all but won a lengthy bloody war against the machines, and the only way the machines can win this war is to fight it in the past. An infiltration unit is sent back to 1984 to kill Sarah Connor (Linda Hamilton), the mother of the leader of the human resistance, John Connor. The human resistance sends back Kyle Reese (Michael Beihn) to protect Sarah. From here, we're taken on thrill ride as Reese and Connor avoid the Terminator at all costs, and save the future of mankind. Pretty simple, eh?

Little did we know that this low-budget, neo-noir sci-fi thriller would become a critical and commercial juggernaut and launch both its director and lead actor into the stratosphere! So what made this film one of the most beloved of all time? Well, let me give you a list of reasons:

1. The opening title sequence

I usually don't talk about title sequences since they just give us the credits and the title of the film. But the way this movie does it is so freaking cool! You see all the credits being typed out one by one while a bunch of large, metallic lettering scrolls in opposing directions in the background. I remember always being blown away from it as a kid, especially when I realized that those huge letters were spelling out "TERMINATOR". And of course, the theme playing along to it... Oh man... The theme! THE THEME! 

Yes, the metallic heartbeat is bone-chilling. It adds the perfect icing on the cake to this sequence, and overall this sequence sets the tone beautifully for this film!

2. The atmosphere

This movie is really dark and eerie, even in the daytime scenes, things still look dark. As mentioned before, The Terminator has a very neo-noir feel to it. When you're making a movie that has an unstoppable killer robot in it, I think it's best to make it as bleak looking as possible. Cameron exploits this notion to endth degree here, and it creates a very raw, terrorizing atmosphere that compliments the film beautifully.

3. The characters

The three main characters of this film are iconic. Sarah Connor is the most badass female character not named Ellen Ripley (although her badassery will not reach its full potential until the sequel). She starts out in this film as a timid, down-on-her-luck waitress. She gets ice cream shoved in her dress, she gets her date cancelled, and then she gets targeted by a robot for assassination... For something she didn't even do yet... Poor Sarah. But by the end of this movie, we get a glimpse of just how hardcore she's going to become. 

Since this film's release, Sarah Connor has become one of the most iconic female characters in movie history. The best part of this movie is seeing her transformation. By the end, you truly believe she's the mother of the leader of the human resistance.

Kyle Reese may not be as much of a household name as Sarah Connor or the Terminator, but he's still a terrific character. A sergeant in the human resistance, he is sent back in time to 1984 to protect Sarah Connor from the Terminator. In his time, he was a hardened soldier, but in 1984, he's a fish out of water. He's assigned to protect Sarah from a massive killer robot with no proper weapons, no idea how this world works, all while suffering from PTSD. Despite all of his vulnerabilities, he's determined to protect Sarah at all costs, even if it means banging her while on the run.

Now we get to the grand daddy of them all: The Terminator. Is there anything about this robot that isn't totally badass?  Let's see here: He operates on himself and rips his own eyeball out; he shoots up a nightclub; he takes 6 shotgun blasts to the chest like it's nothing; crashes into a police station and offs every cop he sees; and he busts into this poor old lady's home and puts 5 rounds in her face just because of her name! 

Oh how I wish we had Terminators and time travel in real life...

 

If only

Seriously, The T-800 in this film one of the most intimidating, relentless, badass motherfuckers to ever be put on film. Chuck Norris checks his closet for a fucking Terminator at night!

You get it by now, right? Characters = Awesome


4. The acting

This film features career making performances out of its 3 main stars. Arnold Schwarzenegger was already a rising action star with the Conan movies  under his belt, but The Terminator is when Arnold truly became Arnold. He was a household name from then on and his star has only gotten brighter since.

Linda Hamilton has become synonymous with the character of Sarah Connor... In fact, I don't even remember any other movie she's been in! But for the one role she did play in her lifetime, it was a great one. No other actress has been able to capture the essence of Sarah like she has, which says a lot because Lena Headey and Emilia Clarke are terrific... But they just couldn't nail down Sarah's character. Linda Hamilton will always be the definitive Sarah Connor, always.

As for Michael Biehn, well... He hasn't had much of a career outside of future Cameron movies, which is shame because he's a terrific talent, and this movie showcases that greatly. He finds a great balance between being strong yet vulnerable as Kyle Reese in this film, and, just like Hamilton, he shines brightly even if it's just for one role.

So yeah, the performances in this movie raised the bar for acting in sci-fi films!

5. Directing

James Cameron's legend was born with this movie. Piranha II may have technically been his first movie, but I consider The Terminator to be his true debut. Every element of Cameron's films are present here: A strong female lead; a badass, shit-your-pants terrifying villain; relentless action mixed with brutal intensity; rich subtext; and the color blue. He manages to combine action, sci-fi, horror and romantic elements in this film, and it all comes together beautifully!

I want to use this opportunity to point out a very clever thing Cameron did in this movie: In the scene where Sarah Connor walks in the Tech Noir nightclub,  the song being played in the background shouts out the lyrics "All alone, I'm a moving target." It was a very clever insertion into this movie and it speaks volumes of Cameron's brilliance. 

He has since become one of the most respected directors of all time, and my personal favourite.

All 5 of those things listed are combined to create one of the most original and awesome movies ever made. It's pretty much flawless, and that's saying something for a movie that features a guy who travels back in time to impregnate a woman and become the father of his own boss... Fucked up, eh?

In case you haven't noticed yet, this is one of my favourite movies of all time. It's a science fiction masterpiece of the likes that will never be seen again. 

This film gets 100 Uzi 9mm's out of 100

There you go! Stay tuned as I will be reviewing Terminator 2: Judgment Day in the next few days. So what I'm saying is...

See ya!

- Mad Mike of Metal

 

 

Mad Reviews: Batman & Robin

Welcome again to Mad Reviews... Because I clearly have nothing fucking better to do! I have to review some piece of shit now just because it's the fucking go-to movie for any critic out there who's trying to make a name for himself! Everyone loves seeing this film get ripped apart, everyone loves to watch hard working joes like me point out everything wrong with it, everyone shits on this movie! EVERYONE! I really don't know what else I can bring to the table that other critics haven't! Seriously, I don't really fucking know why the fuck I have to fucking talk about this fucking movie! EVERYBODY HAS FUCKING TALKED ABOUT IT! Every single critic in the world has pointed out every single problem with this flaming piece of reptilian shit! So in reality, reviewing this thing is fucking pointless because I'll just be repeating what everyone else has said!

But I guess I have to give the people what they want, right? I just have to talk about Batman & Robin, right? Because who cares about how I feel, right?! Yeah! Who cares that I have to fucking sit through this crap! Who cares that I have to submit myself to such awful fucking torture just to fucking keep you people happy, right???!!! Who cares that I have to watch Joel Schumacher bend my childhood over and fuck it right up the ass, right?! Right??!! RIGHT???!!! So here, just for you fucking people, I'm going to be reviewing Batman & Robin, just so I can fucking please all of you! Here you go, you selfish fucking twats!!!

I don't even know where to begin with this crap... Seriously, I don't. This "film" is so oversaturated with bullshit that I find myself surrounded by it, and I can't figure out which direction to go! Did any of that make sense to you? No? Well neither does this movie! Any of it! People actually got paid to make this, think about that!

Alright, so back in 1995, "director" Joel Schumacher took over the reigns of the Batman franchise from Tim Burton (Warner Bros was lobotomized at the time), and he released the third film in this series: Batman Forever. While it was a huge hit, there was a lot of hate for it. The reasons for the hate were because it was too family friendly, and unnecessarily revisiting the Adam West version. Personally, I didn't think it was that bad. It had tons of problems for sure, but I thought the movie did a fine job of combining the elements of the Burton films and the 1960's TV show. Unfortunately for everyone, Schumacher couldn't strike that chord again when he made Batman & Robin... Guhhhh!!!!

This movie begins with homoerotic shots of Bat-nipples, Bat-crotches, and Bat-butts. After our heroes suit up, we hear the first lines of "dialogue" in this thing... Something about Superman working while Alfred is ordering pizza or some shit... I'm not sure exactly what was said because I was busy trying to claw my own eyes out after seeing that close-up of Batman's ass... Anyways, Batman & Robin are driving out of the Bat-tunnel, when commissioner Gordon contacts Batman to inform him of a villain who calls himself "Mister Freeze." From here, we embark on an illogical, puntastic clusterfuck of an adventure... Oh what a disaster!

That first battle with Freeze... wow...It might as well be a fucking puppet show! Everyone and everything is strings! Henchman are getting unrealistically launched into the air, Freeze's gun looks like someone is using the force on it, Robin is pole-vaulting, and our heroes have... BAT HOCKEY SKATES??? You've gotta be fucking kidding me! They literally touch their feet together and skate blades come out of their fucking boots! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, fucking no, god dammit no... Just... fucking... NO!

This shit is followed by Freeze flying some giant rocket penis up in the sky, with Batman trapped inside and Robin trying to get in from the outside. Somehow, Robin doesn't Freeze to death while this rocketship blasts to over 30000 feet in the air. I'm really starting to think that the laws of physics were non-existent in real life on the set of this movie! Sigh...

Anyways, this whole sequence ends with Freeze freezing Robin. Batman eventually thaws him out and they return home, while Freeze gets away with the diamond. So far, this is what I've gathered from the so called "plot" of this movie: Freeze is stealing diamonds so he can use them to create a super freeze gun to freeze Gotham City and then demand a ransom from the city so he can get funding to research the disease that's killing his wife...

That... is... so... fucking... stupid!   

If he needs money to research, why doesn't he just rob a bank? Or kidnap the mayor? Or invest in stock? Fuck, anything would make more fucking sense than the crap he's doing in this movie! But I guess he needed to freeze the city so the movie could show off all the cool winter-style Batman toys. 

Oh, and Freeze is doing all of this in the most puntastic way possible! Check this video for clarification:

What the fuck is this shit?

 

 

Alright, let's move on to Poison Ivy. Wow, this movie crapped all over that character too. Granted, she's not on my list of favourite Batman villains, but this film managed to turn her into an over-the-top punning machine just like Freeze. Her goal is to cover the world in plants, in order for the film to force some kind of environmental message down our throats. Unfortunately, I can't root for her because she's fucking nuts.

What they did with Ivy was fucking abysmal, and Uma Thurman's performance didn't help much either! This is the same chick who was on the posters for Pulp Fiction, and the same chick who kicked ass in Kill Bill, and this is what she gives us for Ivy? My fucking god! At least Arnold's over-the-top cheesiness comes with the territory, but Thurman is a talented actress... For her to give us this garbage is just... wow... can I just watch her chop everyone up in that Tokyo nightclub again? I'm just going to forget she was in this movie.

As for Bane? Well, I can't comment on that because Bane didn't appear in this movie. Ivy had a roid-headed henchman, but that was about it. Bane was nowhere to be found...

Thank god the Joker wasn't in this movie...

Did I also mention Batgirl was in this movie? Yep, and her suit doesn't have nipples on it... Fuck off.

Anyways, I've been going on and on about how fucking dumb this movie is. Well, I haven't even scratched the surface yet! This movie has so many dumb puns, so many continuity errors, so many defiances of the laws of physics, so many stupid gadgets, and so many ridiculous gags. If you thought the fucking Bat-skates were bad, just wait until this movie gives you the Bat Credit Card!

Fuck you

Are you fucking shitting me? How is this... where can he... does this even... WHO THE FUCK CAME UP WITH THIS SHIT? What the hell did he write on his credit card application? "I'm Batman?" Wouldn't Bruce Wayne have to put his funds into that credit line? That would've given everything away right there, wouldn't it? For fuck sakes, where the fuck were everyone's brains on the set of this film? What the fuck was your thought process when you people were coming up with the fucking Bat Credit Card? Jesus tittyfucking Christ!

This just goes from bad to worse. This movie branches off into so many different directions, that you'd swear this film was just a collection of test scenes. The subplots are everywhere! From Robin falling in love with Ivy, to Batgirl racing motorcycles, to Alfred dying, to Bruce's relationship with some chick no one cares about. Do you give a shit about any of it? No! Instead you just cringe over fucking stupid this all is.

Alright, back to the "story". Eventually, Batman ends up catching Freeze, and Freeze is in a specially modified prison cell that keeps his body cold... They sure set that up quick, didn't they? Eventually, Ivy breaks him out and they plan to take over the world together. But have no fear, because Batman and Robin are going to take her down! This leads to one of the many stupid moments in this movie: When Robin kisses Ivy, but remains unscathed due to rubber lips... Really?

Okay, even if I was to buy into the fact that having thin-strip rubber lips can stop poison (which I don't), he literally takes off his rubber lips when he's less than an inch away from her! She could've literally grabbed him and kissed him right there, and boom, he's dead! But no, she instead kicks him into the water. He tries to get out, but the water plants are dragging him back in. Either that, or Schumacher rewound the footage of his head coming out of the fucking water! What the fuck?

GOD DAMN THIS FUCKING MOVIE! DAMN IT ALL TO HELL!

I'm just going to wrap this up: Heroes defeat Ivy, Freeze freezes the city, heroes defeat Freeze, heroes unthaw the city, Alfred nurses back to full health, heroes run toward the screen with the Bat Signal as the back drop, cut to credits. Thank god!

This movie is just... aww fuck it! I'm just going to show this following picture to get my point across:

Just think of all the children we could've fed

 

 

 

Enough said...

 

 



Batman & Robin is right up there with the Star Wars prequels as one of the most expensive toy commercials ever made. That's all it really is, just a big marketing campaign for toys. In fact, Warner Bros actually rushed the production of this film so it could come out in time for the new toy line. That really explains a lot. This is an awkward, rushed, campy, braindead piece of shit, and without a doubt one of the worst movies ever made. It destroyed not only Batman for nearly a decade, but superhero movies in general were avoided by Hollywood for over 5 years. What a legacy this movie has

I'm giving this piece of shit 11 points out of 100.

Why eleven points? Well, I know this seems crazy, but this movie is actually worth watching. There's some entertainment to be had in watching this film do everything wrong. I've never seen anything outside of The Room that failed so spectacularly! The writing was awful, the acting was horrendous, the sets were hideous, the effects were bullshit, the direction was putrid. It just completely falls apart on all fronts, and you have to see it to believe it. It's like a train wreck, you just can't look away.

Plus, we're in a golden age of comic book movies now, and I find that many of today's moviegoers are ungrateful for it. We see some pretty good flicks like The Dark Knight Rises, Avengers: Age of Ultron, Thor 2, Iron Man 2, Man of Steel, and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 get a lot of hate from people who don't know how good they have it. So if you're in the hate crowd for any of today's superhero films, then I encourage you to watch Batman & Robin and count your fucking blessings!

I'm done with this crap now, I hope you enjoyed reading this review. See you next time! Until then, the comments are down there!

- Mad Mike of Metal

Mad Reviews: Taxi Driver

Welcome to Mad Reviews again! I made my grand return a few days ago by re-reviewing 2001: A Space Odyssey. As you may already know, I put reviewing aside 7 months ago to re-focus my life, and turn a new leaf. Now that everything is in order with my great new job and new band, I can now continue on with my 2nd passion, which is talking about movies. I'm happy to be doing this again!

Anyways, since my first review back was a classic by Stanley Kubrick, I figured I would now tackle a classic by another mastermind filmmaker: Martin Scorsese. I actually realized looking back on my reviews that I have yet to review one of his movies. With that being said, I've decided to take a look at what I consider to be the greatest pure character study of all time: Taxi Driver.

How would I describe this movie in only a few words? Well, if 2001 is a symphony of space travel, then Taxi Driver is what I would call a “Symphony of Madness.”

Right at the beginning, we as the audience are transported into the mind of Travis Bickle: A Vietnam vet with major PTSD who takes a job driving a taxi through the streets of New York. We see the world through his eyes, and to him, the world is a rotten shithole (no argument here). As the movie goes on, we learn that Mr. Bickle is an insane nobody who (by the end) will stop at nothing to prove that he's a somebody, even if it's only in his own twisted mind. That's part of this movie's brilliance: On the outside looking in, Travis is an insane, miserable creep with no people skills. But in his mind, it's everyone else who's trash. He can do no wrong.

This film can be relatable to many people in that regard. Do you know anyone like Travis? Someone who means well, but doesn't realize that what he does is a little fucked up? Someone who's idea of a date is taking a nice girl out to a porno movie? Someone who (after you and your friends are telling jokes and talking about the women they're banging) chimes in to your conversation to tell you about the latest murder cases going on? Someone who pulls you aside to talk about their "dark thoughts" and expect you to give them words of wisdom (And you're thinking "WTF")? I'm sure you know someone like that... If you don't, well... you're it, buddy!

Alright, so I've gone on about the film's main character... What about the story itself? Well, it's a character study, so the story basically covers the life and times of Travis Bickle. From his interview at the taxi company, to his bloody demise. In between, we see his mind slowly deteriorate into a pool of loneliness, desperation, and pure rage. He drives the streets of New York every day, and sees nothing but scum. He sees it on the sidewalks, the crosswalks, and even in his own cab. The more fares he takes, the crazier and sicker he gets. He's forced to clean cum and blood off his back seat every night, he sees pimps snag hookers out of his car, he speeds away from hooligans in Harlem, and Martin Scorsese himself forces him to stake out an apartment while Scorsese's wife is getting rammed in there. Yeah, stuff like that can disillusion someone pretty damn quick.

It doesn't help that Bickle himself is out of his mind. He spends his spare time frequenting porno theatres, hitting on the cashiers in said theatres, following 12 year-old prostitutes, and stalking a beautiful campaign worker named Betsy that he's convinced he's in love with (the ladder part is where this movie is at it's most awkward). Seriously, he stakes out the Palantine campaign building and watches this chick work. He eventually walks in and asks her out, and for some reason she agrees (blondes... amirite?). They have pie together, he creepily tells her about some "connection" he feels with her, she awkwardly acknowledges it... and then she agrees to go out with him again??? Thankfully, for Betsy's sake, Travis takes her out to a porn theatre on the next date. She's unimpressed and wises up pretty quickly, ditching Travis and focusing her attention on Hank Scorpio.

As awkward as those moments with Betsy were (and by "awkward" I mean "piss your pants uncomfortable"), it's probably the best part of the movie. We get a great sense of how mal-adjusted Travis is, and how he's so engulfed in his own world that anyone who comes into contact with him must be part of that world. And who the fuck would want to be there? Fuck, not even a 12 year-old prostitute (played wonderfully by Jodie Foster) wants any part of that shit.

Eventually, Bickle becomes so fed up with everything that he buys a bunch of guns and begins acting tough to a mirror:

Of course I am, you're the only one here...

 

 

Travis's descent into madness results in a climax for the ages, and the film concludes with an ambiguous ending that's still being interpreted to this day.  Don't worry, I won't spoil that for you... I'm not that much of a dick.

As said before, this film is a character study. The tone of the film matches Bickle's traits beautifully. It has very eerie, haunting, and chaotic feel to it, and with the unpredictability and creepiness of Travis, everything falls into place tone-wise. You get a sense of just how disgusting the world is through Travis's eyes, and Robert DeNiro plays the character perfectly.

Now there's a segue into the acting if I've ever seen one. Everyone in this movie puts on a terrific performance. Cybill Shepherd and Jodie Foster are both amazing in this movie as the "love interests" Betsy and Iris, and emphasis needs to be put on Jodie Foster's performance as playing a 12 year-old prostitute was the easiest thing to do. Hank Scorpio does a great job as Betsy's pseudo bodyguard Tom, and even Martin Scorsese himself does a wonderful job as a passenger and a random observer watching Betsy... I'm still wondering if those two are the same character or not. All of these acting jobs really bring the whole movie together to create the masterpiece that Taxi Driver truly is. 

This movie is a one-of-a-kind classic. It lives up to its legendary status as one of the greatest movies ever made. It genially portrays the brutality of a dog-eat-dog city like New York, all through the eyes of a tremendously flawed man. Taxi Driver is without a doubt the greatest character study of all time. While I do consider Goodfellas to be the best Scorsese film, Taxi Driver is a very, very, VERY close second. If you haven't seen it yet, it's definitely worth your time, so go buy it on Blu-Ray and watch the fucking thing!

This gets 1000 stars out of 1000. Can't find any flaws and can't imagine I ever will... For a near 40 year-old movie, it has held up amazingly.

One more thing... I'm going to be serious for a moment: I mentioned that I had taken a break from reviewing movies for nearly 7 months. Well, the reason why I wanted to review this movie is that I felt I owed it. For a good chunk of those 7 months, I was going through some radical shit, and I experienced some things that nobody should ever have to. For a time, I was feeling some of the things Travis Bickle was feeling, and I could relate to this movie a great deal. Thankfully, this film helped me get through a very dark time in my life. That's why I'm talking about it now, because at one point your life, you either have or will go through the things Travis did (some cases more extreme than others). So I'm deeply suggesting to everyone reading this review to go watch this movie if you haven't already... If it can help me, it can help you. Serious talk = over!

As usual. the comment section is down there for all your trolling needs.

Bye bye now!



- Mad Mike of Metal 

Mad Reviews - 2001: A Space Odyssey (Reprise)

Boy did I ever fuck up with this one...

Welcome back, everyone! I know I've been absent from reviewing for over half a year. I apologize for that as I've been making changes in my personal life and moving forward with my other ambitions... Such as music, being awesome, etc. But now, I'm back, baby!

Alright, so as you know, my first review on this blog was of the Stanley Kubrick sci-fi classic 2001: A Space Odyssey. Feel free to read it in the following link before moving forward:

http://madmikeofmetal.blogspot.ca/2014/04/mad-reviews-2001-space-odyssey.html

As you can see, that review was very mixed. To be honest, I wasn't too impressed with this movie when I saw it for the first time, and my review reflected that greatly. But now, after watching it a few more times, all I have to say is this: I fucked up.

Yes, I know it's hard for a fucking egotistical prick such as myself to admit it... But it's true. I fucked up, I shit the bed, I missed the mark, I screwed the pooch, I dun goofed. This movie is absolutely brilliant, and I'm glad I managed to give it another chance. Mr. Kubrick, wherever you are, I have to say I'm sorry for that last review. I hope I can make up for it on this one. 

So where do I start? Well, where the movie starts, I guess... The opening shot is gorgeous, beautifully depicting a crescent Earth rising above the moon, followed by the sun rising above Earth. This shot is played along to the sounds of Richard Strauss's Also Sprach Zarathustra, which has now become synonymous with the film. Fuck it, I'll just post it here because my words can't describe it:

Simply epic

Yeah, brilliant eh? This opening sets the tone and lets you know that you'll be in for what can only be described as a visual symphony. 

That's where I missed the mark entirely in the previous review. I was overly critical over the lack of character development, the wooden acting, lack of story, and the film's over-reliance on visuals. Well, I now realize that's the whole point! It's not supposed to tell a specific story, it's not supposed to be some in-depth character study of Hal or Dr. Bowman, and it's not supposed to be full of expositional dialogue. 2001 is meant to be an out of body experience, it takes you on a long journey through space, time, and music. As stated before, it moves along like a symphony... And just like a symphony, you're meant to sit down and take everything in. You listen to every note, every passage, every movement... And at the end of it all, you interpret it on your own.

Ok, enough of that.. Where else did I fuck up? Oh yeah... In the last review I talked about how the pacing is needlessly slow. Well, looking at it again, I have to say that I liked the film's slow pace. It adds to overall eerie and mysterious tone of the movie, and it allows you to soak all the visuals in. Plus, space travel is slow as fuck, so it only makes sense that a movie about space travel would be slow-paced as well. 

As for the lack of character development, I messed up there too. I thought this whole movie was supposed to be about the struggles of the human characters as well as the man apes, not even realizing that the main character of this movie is the monolith itself! This monolith is meant be an alien being, there to help the advancement of mankind at every stage of its evolution... Seriously, that flew over my head the first time.

I also went on about how the ending was just some contrived bullshit.. Well, I was wrong there too. As stated before, this movie is a journey. It's taking you on yet another journey as the monolith splits the fabric of space and time. We see terrifically drawn up visuals, spliced in with still shots of Dr. Bowman's terrified face, inverted color shots of canyons and lakes, and what can only be described as space jizz. We're then transported to a hotel room, where we see Dr. Bowman grow older and older to the point of death. He is then reborn as humanity's next stage of evolution: The Starchild. At least that's how I interpret it now...

As for Hal, well... He's an even better villain after a few viewings! He's a technically perfect being, incapable of error. Which goes to show just how cold and calculating he is when he kills everyone on board and leaves Bowman out in the dust. From Hal's point of view, he didn't make a mistake, he was simply doing what was best for the mission itself. Unfortunately, it got everyone killed and turned Bowman into a space loner.

Now I'm not going to touch on the genius of the Dawn of Man sequence as I've already thouched on that in my previous review. With this review, I'm basically asking myself: How did this film go over my head the first time?

To answer that question, I have to turn to none other than Stanley Kubrick himself. 

This is a director who makes very unique movies. All of them require multiple viewings before they can truly be appreciated. Heck, I didn't really like Dr. Strangelove until I saw it a few times, and now it's one of my favourite comedies and still my favourite Kubrick movie! I also didn't fully appreciate A Clockwork Orange or Full Metal Jacket the first time I watched them either. Same goes for 2001 now, and it's safe to say that I have converted. 2001: A Space Odyssey is every bit the sci-fi masterpiece it's built up to be, and one of the most distinct and unique films ever made. It's full of awe, wonder, great visuals and an antagonist for the ages. I love it now, and I'm so happy I've come to fully appreciate it. 

5 stars out of 5. 

And now to get this review blog up and running again. Welcome back! See you in my next review as I'll be tackling another classic film... This time directed by Martin Scorsese. Until then, here's the ending to 2001:

 

- Mad Mike of Metal