Mad Reviews: Once Upon a Time in the West

 

 

 

It is 1968, the master of the Spaghetti Western, Sergio Leone, is coming off the heels of the Dollars Trilogy, which is arguably the greatest trio of movies ever made. He now faced the challenge of having to make a landmark western movie without the likes of Clint Eastwood, Lee Van Cleef, or Eli Wallach. For this new project, Leone recruited western mainstay Charles Bronson, legendary actor Henry Fonda, and rounded off the cast with bombshell Claudia Cardinale and the underrated Jason Robards. Not even M Night Shyamalan can fuck up with this kind of cast (actually he would, I shouldn't give him too much credit). The result is what is considered to be one of the greatest westerns ever made: Once Upon a Time in the West.

This is another film that was on my watch list for a long time. I loved the dollars trilogy and The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly is one of my favourite movies of all time. Considering that OUATITW is directed by same guy and scored by the same composer as those three epics, this is a movie that I was looking forward to watching more than any other 'classic' film.

So, was I blown away or disappointed? Well, after seeing it for the first time, I guess you can say I found it somewhat impressive... Oh who am I kidding THIS MOVIE IS FUCKING AWESOME!

Yeah, I absolutely adore this movie! In my opinion, this another fine piece of work by Leone and one of the best westerns I’ve ever seen! So what exactly did I love so much about it? Well…

The opening sequence is the greatest opening sequence I’ve ever seen. The first handful of shots are slow, eerie, and soaked with atmosphere. You have one guy locking an old man in a closet, one guy drinking water out of his hat, and another guy trying to kill a fly with the barrel of his own gun, all in the confines of a train station in the middle of nowhere. What I love most about this is that the movie manages to pull you in and grab your attention, even though you have no idea what is going on…

After about 5 minutes of fly chasing and windmill screeching, a train finally shows up at the station. These 3 aforementioned cowboys stand next to the train in a dual-like stance, anxiously awaiting something (or someone). The train then departs the station and they start to walk away… Until they hear the harmonica, and see Charles motherfucking Bronson on the other side of the station as the train leaves. He’s standing there playing a harmonica and being all badass about it, and then after a little bantering about a possible fourth horse, he says to them “you brought 2 too many” and then proceeds to open fire on all three. He kills all three of them, but the last one manages to get a shot off and hit Harmonica (Bronson) in the shoulder.

Amazing suspense, amazing atmosphere, and one fuck of a payoff! Seriously… Best. Opening Scene. Ever!

The second scene is set up nearly the same way. The movie introduces you to the McBain family (no Simpsons jokes, please), who are anxiously awaiting the arrival of their mother/wife. After Mr. McBain goes to the well for some water, we hear a gunshot and see his daughter fall to the ground. We then hear another gunshot and see his oldest son fall to his death as well. McBain then gets shot multiple times himself and killed. As the youngest member of the McBain family walks out of the house, we see a large group of bandits, led by Frank (played by Henry fucking Fonda)… who after thinking for about 30 seconds, decides to pull his revolver out and shoot the kid.

That my friends, is how you introduce a villain! You make him kill off an entire family, and see his smile as he shoots a child. That has to be one of the darkest scenes I’ve ever watched.

So that’s two things about the movie that I love right off the bat: The opening sequence, and the character introductions. Amazing!

The story is absolutely fantastic too, I won't give too much away but I just love how the movie keeps you guessing. You don't know what Harmonica's beef with Frank is until the movie's climax, where you also find out why Harmonica plays the Harmonica! It's a classic tale of revenge, heartbreak, betrayal, and old west debauchery all rolled into one. I liked how the movie was able to stay in suspense for 2 hours and 45 minutes without cinematically blue-balling its audience. The story is relatable, awesome, and incredibly inspiring... What more can you ask for?

The acting in this movie is outstanding. Charles Bronson, who was already a household name at this time, put on arguably the best performance of his career as Harmonica. Henry Fonda seemed to have been born to play Frank in this movie, and it added to his already legendary resume. Jason Robards is stellar as Cheyenne and Claudia Cardinale put on one of the strongest female performances ever in a western as Jill McBain. The characters themselves are memorable. Harmonica has a Man with No Name vibe to him as he is calm, cool, and badass throughout the movie, and he's badass without even trying to be. Frank is the perfect yin to Harmonica's yang, he's cold, cunning, and ruthless. Frank is one of the greatest movie villains of all time, in my opinion. I mean... HE MURDERS A KID AND SMILES FOR FUCK SAKES!!! That's one dude you don't want to fuck with!

As with every other Leone film ever made, the cinematography is absolutely fantastic! The close ups are bone chilling as usual, especially during the final showdown between Harmonica and Frank. The shot of the three bandits standing in a badass stance as Harmonica just plays away in the background is just beautiful. You see Leone get very creative with his camera as this movie is one of the best shot that I've ever seen. I won't give away much more in terms of cinematography, but if you're a Sergio Leone fan, you'll know what you're in for...

The music is... Oh my fucking lord the music!!! It's just... Gosh it's just fucking bone chilling! Ennio Morricone did an absolutely fantastic job in scoring this film. The Harmonica theme is symphonic ally beautiful yet badass all at the same time! The main theme, while not as memorable as TGTBATU's theme, is terrific! Morricone is one of my favourite movie composers of all time and this movie is one of the reasons why! *eargasm*

Now I know I’ve said the word “badass” in this review quite frequently. That’s because this movie is just the personification of badass! It’s badass on top of badass with badass to drink and badass on the side, with some more badass for dessert! Badass characters, badass directing, badass story, badass acting, yeah you get it, just badass! But it’s the best kind of badass as well: It’s the kind of badass that doesn’t even try to be badass. The movie isn’t waving its fists at you and saying “I’m a badass motherfucker”, it’s just a badass motherfucker without having to tell you. You just know it by watching it.

Can you tell I’m in love with this movie yet? Yeah, it’s nice to know that at there’s one 1968 classic that’s deserving of all its praise (I’m looking at you, 2001!). This is hands down one of my favourite movies ever! If I did a top 20 list, Once Upon A Time in the West will definitely make an appearance on there somewhere! This movie is fucking amazing!

The only bad thing I can really say about this movie, is that it's not as much of a masterpiece as The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, but comparing to that movie just wouldn't be fair. I guess if I can say anything remotely negative about this movie, it's this: If you're a casual movie watcher, then Once Upon a Time in the West is not the movie for you, it's a movie for people who truly love the art of filmmaking. That's really the only bad thing I can say, and even then it's not really a bad thing!

I'll just conclude that this yet another milestone in Sergio Leone's legendary career!

I’m giving it 100 Schofield Revolver bullets out of 100.

So do you agree with me? Or do you think I’m sucking this movie’s dick? Let me know in the comments below…

- Mad Mike of Metal

 

Mad Lists: Top 5 Movie Themes that AREN'T the main theme

Well, here is my first edition of Mad Lists as I will be using this to make countdowns of favourite things and least favourite things and such... With that, I give you the Top 5 movie themes that are not the main theme of the movie. Some movies are known for their main themes, as are the 5 movies mentioned on this list, but within their soundtrack lies another awesome piece of music that matches the main theme's quality, and in some cases surpasses it... Enough of the bullshit, let's get on with this, shall we?


5. Freedom Isn't Free (Team America)

Composer: Harry Gregson Williams

No explanation needed... Just give your $1.05, shut up, and move on

4. Why So Serious? (The Dark Knight)

Composer: Hans Zimmer

This one brings me back to when I saw The Dark Knight in theatres for the first time. Hearing that slow, haunting string build-up as the bat symbol comes out of the blue fire really lets you know what you're going to be in for. Hans Zimmer did a wonderful job capturing the essence of the Joker with this theme. I just love how this piece of music is just as chaotic and unpredictable as the character it was composed for...

3. T-1000 theme (Escape From the Hospital) (Terminator 2: Judgment Day)

Composer: Brad Fiedel

Just like the #4 entry on this list, this theme represents its film's respective villain perfectly. How awesome is it to hear "bwoaaammm" every time the T-1000 appears on screen? And how breathtaking is it to hear this theme go berserk when he starts chasing John Connor on his dirtbike (Dat percussion)? Brad Fiedel is an underrated composer, and this piece of work is fantastic!

2. Imperial March (Star Wars)

Composer: John Williams

I'm sure that, when you saw the title of this list, that you thought this would be at number 1, and I'm sure you're pissed that it's not number 1. Hey, it doesn't mean I don't think this piece is awesome, because it is! Reminiscent of Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries", the Imperial March beautifully represents the Galactic Empire in all it's evil goodness. Who can ever forget hearing this theme as the Superstar Destroyer casts a shadow over all the Star Destroyers? It's an amazing tune, and might I say that it's John Williams's finest composition. But number 1 on my list? Nope, pretty damn close though...

 

1. The Ecstasy of Gold (The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly)

Composer: Ennio Morricone

This is... just epicness piled onto a giant pile of epic. This is not only my favourite non-main theme, this is my personal favourite piece of movie music ever! This singlehandedly made Tuco's run through a cemetery the most epic thing in the world. That's how beautiful this piece is, it can make anything you do sound amazing. Just try listening to this tune when you're doing any mundane task, like taking out the trash or walking to 711 and buying a slurpee, it'll make you feel like you're taking on an army all by yourself! I love Ennio Morricone and I think this is his finest piece of music, and that's saying a lot! You're bloodless if this tune doesn't give you shivers...

I know plenty of Metallica fans are happy with my selection, and I know plenty of Star Wars fans will be pissed... But hey, it's only my measly opinion, but tell me what you think in the comments below. Be nice... Or mean, I don't give a fuck...

- Mad Mike of Metal

PS. Stay tuned in the next few hours as I will be reviewing a teen classic!

Mad Reviews - Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker

"You know, kids, a lot has changed since your old Uncle Joker's been away. New Gotham, new rules, even a new Batman. But now I'm tanned, I'm rested and I'm ready to give this old town a wedgie again!"

Well, as promised, this is my first review on an animated feature, as well as my first review on a Batman movie. When I was thinking of which cartoon film I should review first, I had plenty of options, as there are tons of animated classics that I can give my opinion on. But instead, I decided to go for one of the most underrated movies I've ever seen... So here we go.

Back in the late 90's, everything and everyone was obsessed about the future:What would it look like? How would we live? What will mankind be capable of? Will we ever have hoverboards and flying cars? The thoughts and possibilities were endless! Of course, Warner Bros and the creators of Batman: The Animated Series got caught up in this "future craze" as well... And was resulted was one of the greatest animated TV shows of all time: Batman Beyond.

Set in 2039, the show introduced us to Terry McGinnis, who becomes the new Batman after bumping into Bruce Wayne, (and after Terry's father is killed). We learn that Gotham is just as fucked as it was in the past and that Batman must return. Unfortunately, Bruce Wayne is too old to do it himself, so he decides to take on the role of a mentor to young Terry, and help clean up the streets of Gotham once again.

The show wasn't as praised or as popular as TAS, however it maintained a strong cult following at the time, strong enough to get its own movie. Since many TAS purists were disappointed that pretty much all of their favourite villains were nowhere to be found (with the exception of Freeze's head), Paul Dini and company decided to bring back the greatest Batman foe of them all. With that, we end up getting Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker. Citing the return of the iconic Clown Prince of Crime,  this was a movie that attempted to bridge the gap between TAS and Batman Beyond...

And what was the result? A fucking awesome movie! That's what!!!

The movie opens with the Jokerz gang stealing a plot device, when Batman comes in to stop the theft. He is then taken on a big flight cruise around Gotham, fighting on aircrafts with Bonk and DeeDee. Eventually (after Bonk swings around on a flagpole) Batman thwarts the Jokerz plan. We then find out that Bruce Wayne has taken back control of Wayne Enterprises, which doesn't sit too well with company hotshot Jordan Pryce... And then,  while the Jokerz gang are in a meeting, we finally see the man we've all been waiting for: The Joker. He looks around the same age and he is alive and well. He's also ready to wreak havoc on the people of Gotham, just like the old days.

So what exactly did I love about this movie? For starters, I loved that the Joker came back. The Joker is the most popular and beloved villain in the Batman universe, and possibly in all of comic books, so we all knew the Joker would have to make an appearance at some point in Batman Beyond. It made sense not only from a marketing standpoint, but from a story standpoint as well: His return offered up a fish-out-of-water type of story arc in regards to Terry McGinnis's character, which I thought was genius. Not only has he never faced the Joker, he's never even heard of the Joker (how is that even possible?), which means he has no idea who or what he's dealing with, or what he's up against. So Terry is challenged in ways that he's never been challenged before, and all Bruce Wayne can do is reluctantly watch. 

The Joker character seems to be a lot more sinister this time around (you can thank a PG-13 rating for that). He loves to make things more personal: he makes his grand return at Bruce Wayne's function; he gets the Jokerz gang to attack Terry and his girlfriend Dana at a dance club, hospitalizing Dana in the process; he attacks Bruce's dog Ace, and then attacks Bruce Wayne himself with laughing gas... in his own batcave no less! Not to mention that he gains control of a military satellite which he will eventually use to wipe Gotham off the map. He even sounds meaner and darker here than he did in TAS. Kudos to Mark Hamill for once again doing amazing voice acting job for this character!

The voice acting in this movie is phenomenal, as well as the animation. The looks of despair on Bruce Wayne's face after being made aware of Joker's return is amazingly done, as well as the deep, darkly voice that we've come to expect from Kevin Conroy. We brilliantly see a mixture of the very grim looking Gotham City with the look of a very slick and polished futuristic version of the city. Will Freidle once again impresses with his performance as the young wisecracking Terry McGinnis Batman. Mark Hamill does a good job of playing the film's other antagonist, Jordan Pryce.

That brings me to my next point, I loved how the movie did everything to make you believe that Jordan Pryce was the Joker, down to having the exact same actor pay him! But then, you're floored when you find out that Pryce is just another pawn in the Joker's game. You're even more mindfucked when the movie reveals to you that it's actually an old Tim Drake as the Joker, you're like "how the fuck did Joker manage that?" Now, the way they did it was pretty lame in my opinion, but I'll get to that later.

What were my favourite moments? Well, it's tie between the flashback sequence, and the film's climactic battle between Batman and Joker. Barbara Gordon (now commissioner) decides to explain what happened on the last night of Joker's life. Well, turns out he kidnapped Tim Drake, brainwashed him, and tried to force him to kill Batman, all while Batgirl is fighting with Harley Quinn, who ends up falling down a crevasse to her doom. I love it when Joker calls Batman by his true name, and then taunts him with his "It would be funny if it weren't so pathetic speech." I loved it because you really see how Joker always manages to bring out the absolute worst in Batman, just so he can make Batman sink to his level. After incapacitating the Bat, Mistah J decides to give Tim his gun to shoot B-man with. Unfortunately, he misses and ends up shooting and killing the Joker. My favourite part is when you hear Harley singing "Hush little baby", the way she sings it is so creepy and sinister that I actually felt a little uneasy listening to it. I was thinking "oh fuck, what did they do to Tim?"

I loved the battle between Batman and Joker at the end because... well... I won't give away too much, but Terry's Batman essentially beats the Joker at his own game. It was amazingly entertaining to watch!

Now, what did I not like about this movie? Well... two things. One was how the Joker was written into it: When he kidnapped Tim Drake, he managed to upload his consciousness into a little chip, and placed it on the back of Tim's neck. Here's my problem with that: Even if you're willing to roll with the whole "uploading his mind into Tim's" technobabble (which I did), am I really supposed to believe that Tim never felt that on his neck for nearly 40 years? Just seemed too convenient for me, and it took me out of the movie for a bit.

The other thing I didn't like was that the title of the movie was a spoiler. To me, it should've been named simply Batman Beyond: The Movie or something like that. Could you imagine the fanboy boners being popped when they hear Mark Hamill's voice and the Joker appearing out of the shadows? Not knowing he was going to be in it? It would've been better not to reveal the Joker in the title for the sake of DVD sales. Word of mouth would've gotten around pretty quickly and sales might've been equivalent to what Warner Bros got. Heck, sales might've even been better! This was just a minor nitpick though., to be honest..

In conclusion, while this movie does have one massive plot hole, it's still one of my favourite Batman movies and one of my favourite animated movies of all time! If I did a top 10 list of my favourite animated features, as well as favourite Batman movies, Return of the Joker would definitely make an appearance on both of those lists. It's no Mask of the Phantasm, but it's still an amazing movie that pays homage to TAS as well as introducing Batman Beyond to new fans.

I'm giving this movie 94 Joker Teeth out of 100. Or, if you whiney babies want a more simple rating, I give it 4.7 stars out of 5.

As usual, use the comments section to tell me how badly you want me to die...

- Mad Mike of Metal